Connection, worthiness, shame, shame, shame! (and Fugazi)

Here’s a very popular TED talk, a story that continues to be re-told by all kinds of people – spiritual gurus, coaches, bartenders, artists, blah-ggers. She’s not a wizened wise woman, she’s kinda Top-40, looks like Martha Stewart (but didn’t have to go to prison to have a breakdown or learn humility) but she nails the talk. She speaks to the obsessive perfectionists among and within us, who don’t want to explore any sticky childhood stuff in our pasts before we moved away, broke away, changed our names, to the Successful Self who just want “the tools, the strategies,” the instant cure to take away the pain of failure or feeling lame.

Brene Brown on vulnerability, connection, worthiness, shame

If, after you watch this TED talk from 2010, and you want 20 more minutes of Mrs. Brown two years and 10 million hits later, check it out.  She gets deeper into the differences between guilt and shame. You know: “I’m sorry because I made a mistake” vs. “I’m sorry I am a mistake”  & If we’re waiting to take a risk until we’re “bulletproof and perfect,” we’ll be waiting for ever.

 

 

 

 

Erasing the Stigma of Mental Illness – award for musician Michael Angelakos

Thanks to Shawn Amos, Stereogum and Didi Hirsch Mental Health Clinics, we get to hear a nice speech by the singer of the band Passion Pit. Hear the speech and watch a video of how Michael Angelakos lives with bipolar disorder, which he and his wife regard as “an uninvited guest” and greet it with “hard work, humility and humor.”

He’s grateful to be alive, to have love, and to be an artist: “I don’t think there’s anything more beautiful than taking pain and anger and confusion – all that Life gives everyone, really, and turning it into something beautiful and fun and engaging.”

 

The DIY Couturier’s “21Tips to Keep Your Shit Together When You’re Depressed.”

This was passed to me by a patient, and I really appreciated it, so I’m sharing here…

Rosalind Robertson’s blog on Esquire 21 Tips and MORE 

(I HAVE RE-EDITED THIS TO CORRECT FOR MY ASSUMPTION OF THE AUTHOR’s GENDER in ESQUIRE, a “Men’s” Magazine)

The author repeats lots of truths about exercise, diet, dressing to impress one’s self — the things we can’t hear too many times. She also suggests facing a window whenever possible, to never stop looking out and observing life. I enjoy thinking of how the writer has heard these platitudes, gathered them, wrote them down, related to them, threw out some of them, made them his own.  She’s got a sassy way of responding to annoying “Happy people” who pester us to Try Harder, because if we’re depressed, we must not be trying hard enough, and all we need is to obey their pep talk.

So, whether or not it’s because I tell you too or not, “Have a nice day!”

 

Critics taking the fun out of every/anything

Wow! Loving music, learning about music, exploring music and digging bands and being both picky and a push-over/worshipper is getting trickier every day. Recent LA Weekly article on the “20 worst hipster bands” bugs more than any of the bands that bum out these frustrated musicians fronting like cultural cognoscenti out to get respect for their rapier hipster-haterism. I’m glad Falling James or John Payne did not contribute to this self-consciously self-hating self-aggrandizing critic circle-jerk. Maybe these grown-up writers (the only ones I will mention by name) are too busy loving music and trying to express how the phenomenon of goodness (and badness) can be harnessed by words, and doing their best to explore and search out frontiers for themselves and others. But the article–

The whiny too-witty writers of this article should be congratulated on their typing skills, their gift with garrulity and gab, their iPaddy poetics, and their keen pulse-knowing hater powers.  I don’t really want to pile on more alliteration and hip dazzling verbiage in tearing them or the article down. They take the fun out of it. They take the fun out of trying to live as an artist or being in a band (which most of us/them are not) and make it a drag to make a point…It’s hard to refrain from cutting them down and claiming that hipster-hating has jumped the shark.

Yet, it’s a super funny article and you should read it. It can be used as a litmus test (do they still use litmus paper in Chemistry class?) to your own powers of individual thinking. You can ask yourself: Do I really enjoy Bright Eyes? Are Black Keys getting better or worse? Am I embarrassed when I hear the magnetic zeros sing loudly and happily? Or, maybe you’ll get turned onto some new music which hopefully you’ll like for your own reasons, and not be seduced by some self-serving over-hypenating-hipster critic drowning in their self-reflexive-schaudenfreude envy. Hatesters?

 

 

A Splendid View

“Natural disasters continue, and the country is socially confused. But it is at times like these that you need a splendid point of view. Though the world is facing difficulties, there are many people who try to find pleasure in life and make efforts to create a future with a new vitality.”

Though the country she is talking about is her native Japan, artist Yayoi Kusama challenges us to have “a splendid point of view” towards a world we all share and which perplexes us. The artist’s renegade path has soared and careened on the edge of awareness, at both sides of the frontiers of sanity or wellness. In this New York Magazine interview, Kusama shows she is enjoying the benefits of a very active older-age and a wisdom we often hope it brings. I am inspired to value both the largeness and the shortness of life, the importance of seeing oneself as part of a necessary creative force in a crazy world, even if the world tells us we are the ones who are crazy and unnecessary, or failing…